Zara Barrie returned today with her third and final installment of her Pride Month series. If you missed her first 2 posts, check them out here & here.
Like I said, I LOVE having Zara on the blog because she’s real, raw, honest and fucking funny. Besides, she never escapes taboo topics … as you can see from the title of this post.
Today, Zara tells us everything we wanted to know about lesbian sex. It goes over scissors, braces, manicure labels (LOL) and more.
Enjoy!
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We went through a lot together, right? We dived deep into the dark and stormy waters girl crush. We lifted the veil on the mysterious underworld lesbians. What could we have left to talk about?
Only the most fascinating topic of all, dear. SEX. Not any sex. Sapphic Sex. meow.
And I know – me I know – that no matter where you fall on the widespread spectrum of sexuality, everyone is at least * tiny * a little curious about lesbian sex. I can’t say I blame you. The usual media sells us direct sex in every TV show, movie and commercial. But they dare not touch the wild and wondrous world of queer girl sex.
In fact, whenever lesbians are presented in the media, we usually present ourselves as rather less sexual. We are irritable women dressed like gym teachers, wearing ugly tailored crews in bermuda shorts, yelling at a young and lively neighbor next door to mute their rock music. In reality, we queer babes have the hottest sex out there. I guess the responsible suits are a little scared that if they show how hypersexual and multi-orgasmic the lesbian world * actually * is, their wives might be tempted to change teams?
I do not know. I’m not a sociologist. I’m a lesbian! A lesbian who will give you a few fun, sweet bombs of truth about the unusual sex of girls on this beautiful day.
Also, before you get yours Provocative factor underwear in a twist, kindly remember this: I’m not speaking on behalf of every single lie in the stratosphere. I speak strictly based on my own experiences, the experiences of my friends, and the hundreds of women I have interviewed in my career as a sex and dating writer. But you’re smart, you already knew that, didn’t you? I mean there is no chance one small person can represent an entire population, amirite ?!
Now that it doesn’t matter, let’s get into our silky pajamas, blow up Melissa Ethridge from old school, and talk about sex.
Tie up. This will be fun.
Lesbian sex bomb no. 1: Normal pornography lies to you.
I hate being a bearer of bad news, but if your lesbian big sister doesn’t tell you, who will? Here’s the following: Unless you’re watching underground underground feminist porn from San Francisco – the lesbian porn you’ve seen isn’t what real lesbian sex looks like. Not even a little little.
Most lesbian pornography is created for the pleasure of watching healthy men. That’s why girls have long acrylic nails (honey!) And long blonde hair and wear bright pink lingerie. Sometimes my nails * twist * on the long side and I love it my pink underwear as much as the next girl, but I assure you … my partners and I don’t wear proper underwear (ew, creepy) and we don’t make it sounds…
Lesbian sex bomb no. 2: The definition of lesbian sex is not fixed.
Ask five different lesbians who have lesbian sex in fact is and you will get ten different answers.
Meet five of my friends:
Lisa: “It’s lesbian sex oral sex. ”
Leah: “No it’s not! Lesbian sex is when you use a strap! ”
Ray: “Lesbian sex doesn’t require bonding, Leah. This must include penetration. Fingers count. As well as hands.”
Suzie: “You’re all wrong, they’re strictly scissors!”
Amanda: “There are no lesbian scissors in real life, it’s a pornographic thing. Lesbian sex is defined by orgasm. “
Leah & Ray: “WE’RE SHEARING!”
Me: “CAN YOU GUYS TURN ON F UP ?!”
This is a very common debate in my group of friends, namely because I write so much content for sex and dating and I often take advantage of my dear friends in the name of research. But this common argument just proves my point: There is no fixed definition of “sex” when you have queer sex. Our sex is not as linear as direct sex, which I think is even more appealing. It is mysterious, nuanced and strong in the eye of the beholder.
So when you hear one weird baby say, “We finally had sex!” don’t assume you know what she means by that. It could mean a multitude things.
How do I define lesbian sex? Scissors, orgasm, attached style, fingering, oral, acts. It all counts as sex to me, darling. But again, I am a notoriously greedy lover who loves it everything.
Lesbian sex bomb no. 3. Some of us * do * scissors. Not all, but some of us. (I have).
So what is this scandalous scissor about?
First everything The “technical” term (ha!) Is called “tribbing” and it is when someone rubs the vulva against their partner’s body.
The classic “tribbing” discussed in pop culture usually refers specifically to this act: two women join their spread legs while rubbing their vulva. The two legs look like two sets of grinding scissors, hence the nice name. “scissors. ”
I know I know. Sounds … complicated. and trust me, it is. I was kicked in the head at least ten times and I definitely pulled one or two muscles – but when I’m with my partner in scissors, we get into the right rhythm Amazing.
In my experience, scissors are more than worth an unusual blow to the head and muscle spasms, but I’m kind of weird. MANY open lesbians on the internet will vehemently insist that “no lesbian is actually a scissor!” – and while that might be true for them, it’s definitely not true for all of us. I think the reason so many lesbians run because of the term “scissors” is that it’s so unrealistically portrayed in male-directed pornographic films. I understand, but I refuse to let the men of a porn director prevent me from expressing my love for scissors.
Lesbian sex bomb no. 4: Strap sex is it is not just like having sex with a guy.
“Wait if you have girls you have sex with strap-on dildo, why not just agree to the right thing? ”
I’ve been asked this question more times than I can count on my freshly groomed hands! But hey. I see how confusing this can be for those who have never bathed in a pond.
Have your lesbian older sister sweetly explain why strap sex with a woman it is not generally the same thing as sex with a heterosexual cis-gender toy for boys.
I’m attracted to women. I love their taste. I love their scent. I adore their trap, their brilliance, theirs bodies. The way they a kiss. The way they move. Women delight me. & when we have sex, it’s just the unique way they taste, move, smell, etc. sends into orgasmic bliss.
When we add a little extra belt penetration, the dildo doesn’t all at once to deny the fact that she is a woman. It suddenly does not inhabit male smells and sounds. It still is she – just with the welcome addition of a dazzling sex toy to add a little extra spice to an already wonderful delight.
Lesbian sex bomb no. 5: We’re messy like everyone else.
Maybe it’s because two women and a woman are expected to be POLITICAL little girls – but for whatever reason – they seem so SHOCKED when they discover that some of them us i just want sex without any wires.
Here is the truth: we have. And not only that, we run into bars, bomb ourselves and do stupid shit – like going home with our poisonous exes we swore we would never talk to again. We’re screwing up. We cheat. We have a night for one night. We are wrong. Like sleeping with a friend or worse with a friend pr. Lesbians are on Tinder. Hinge. OkCupid. Raya. All applications. Lesbians are dancers. Fuckboys. Homewreckers. Vixens. Heartbreakers. Freaks. Shallow. Crazy about sex. Irresistibly horny.
My straight girls always say things like, “Ugh, Zara, you don’t get it! Lesbians have it so much easier. A woman could never do that to to another woman. “Oh, I assure you WE CAN to, However to is. That and then a little, baby!
In short: We are as messy as everyone. Maybe even more messy than your average hetero. You see, many of us didn’t even start revolving around the Safa sex wheel until long after high school. We still have a lot of drama, fun and sex to get out of our systems!
Lesbian sex bomb no. 6: Nails are c. Important.
I love a good manicure just as much as a cold glass of champagne on the beach. And I love the beautiful pointed acrylic. and while the blade can absolutely rock any nail style he wants to rock – he has to be careful when he runs his fingers into a woman’s underground areas. Too sharp and it hurts! Girls are sensitive! & dirt under nails is disrespectful & unacceptablee. If you are with a woman for the first time, to be sure, I say keep those nails at least tidy and clean.
Lesbian sex bomb no. 7: Our orgasms are really crazy.
It’s true and I’m sorry (not really, but you get the sentiment). I made a few circles around sex and let me tell you you. Women are almost always selfless mistresses deeply embedded in their partner’s orgasm. They are in no hurry. They understand the fine art of teasing. Besides, you can’t pretend to be a woman. and the beauty is that you don’t need it because girls usually know what’s going on downstairs. and if they don’t, they will ask. There is a wealth of information that men could submit to learn from us (boys advise me).
I could write twenty essays on lesbian sex and I still won’t do it. There is so much exciting ground. We haven’t talked about the tops and bottoms yet, or the princesses, or the pillows, or the hooves! But hey, I can’t give it all away, exactly far away. That wouldn’t be feminine.
In the meantime, trim your nails, stretch your limbs before the legs, buy yourself a chic Italian leather belt from bougie sex, don’t believe everything you see in porn and trust your body. If you want to; try it. Sexuality is limp and incessant ocean.
and if you ever need advice on anything, your big lesbian sister is always there for you. As I said earlier, if you have come this far, you are now officially under the auspices of my big sister. and here you are safe. Yes promise.
XO,
Zara
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Here you go. Happy pride to all. And if you missed Zara’s other posts on Skinny confidential, be sure to check them out:
♡ How to put together your shit but keep the wild side.
♡ Her series on pain management: one,, two,, three.
♡ Girl Scene Navigation Part 1: do I want her or do I want to be her?
♡ Girl Scene Navigation Part 2: lesbians
x, lauryn
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