Oh god, where do I even start ?!
You guys know It fascinated me (SLASH OBSESSED) with the way the lymphatic system works works. & on top of that, dry brushing has become a daily routine for me. The process is so stimulating and super invigorating (especially in AM).
Anyway, for the last year and a half I have been reading a manual lymphatic drainage massage. Here’s my weird thing though: the thought of someone touching my lymph nodes really wears me out.
I do not know why.
(You know how you have weird, bizarre shit you don’t like? For example, I HATE (I HATE HATE I HATE HATE) when I get out of the shower if there are stray hairs on the floor / mat. GOOSEBUMPS. Step on random hairs) is the equivalent of walking over a ditch with 23,420 alligators and a million sharks with their eyes closed. It just gives me hibi jibibi).
If you’re amazed at my oddity, don’t worry – I wonder regularly.
So. Lymph nodes, lymph fluid, lymph vessels. For me, they are somehow unknown and super gentle, so the thought of a stranger touching them … SCARES ME.
But I have heard so many amazing reviews about manual lymphatic drainage massage, that it is said to improve blood circulation and reduce swelling, that I thought Asia was the perfect place to try it (they are obviously known for this specific massage). When we arrived in hong kong I wasn’t hot. I worked non-stop non-stop, I didn’t sleep well and I definitely sniffed or ten times.
So I booked a lymphatic drainage massage.
AND HOLY MASSAGE.
Ok, I have a LOT of massages due to constant neck pain. When I was nineteen I was involved in a horrible, horrible car accident where another driver LOOKED at us. I have been stuck in a side whip ever since. Medical massage is my best friend.
This massage technique was different.
This massage was weird.
This massage was amazing.
So, here’s how the procedure works: lie face down … as usual, and the masseur massages your lymph nodes with light pressure. It’s not the deep tissue massage I normally like, but the after-effects were so insane that it was worth every second.
Imagine this: it was a steam massage. Michael is next to me on a head massage (get that mind out of the gutter, he massaged his scalp massively). After massaging the lymph on my legs and arms, the masseur overturned me and moved under my eyes. At this point I am so relaxed that I fall asleep, snoring completely. With four people in the room. Michael later tells me he couldn’t relax and it sounded like a wildebeest was next to him.
Let’s go back to the details of the massage: it gently massages me under my eye sockets and the sides of my eyes. I’m dead in my sleep. I WAKED UP ALL THE SURPRISES by rinsing. There is a drainage detoxification system in my body (it was a flushing like an orgasm – like endorphins passing through the body). My sinuses immediately leaked out. I also felt like the liquid (by the way, guys we will be authentic in this post, not hot and sexy) is coming down from my eyes into my body. I COULDN’T BELIEVE.
Afterwards I had a full bout of coughing on the massage table (PS Michael is still in the room trying to relax his head while I snore, snore and cough … # relatable). The masseuse almost knew it was going to happen because she had a bottle of water on hand. I drank the whole thing and then I had to get up IMMEDIATELY to pee.
Like right away, right away.
When the lymphatic massage was over, I asked her a billion questions:
Why did I cough?
Why did I have to pee?
What was leaking?
What are the effects?
How long does this take?
AND OMG WHICH WAS INTERESTING !!!
She basically said that the cough was a natural reaction after the lymphatic system was emptied. It is completely normal and the body releases toxins. An immediate need to urinate? Even more normal. When you get lymphatic drainage, it clears toxins and they release and move fluid through the kidneys. The drain created a liquid so it reduces water retention. And the effects remove toxins from the system, and CURRENTLY they remove the puffiness under the eyes as if they are stretching my skin. It’s crazy right away. The effects last for about a month. And how often can you do that? She said she would be fine once a month. Massage is known to relieve any level of pain and can reduce swelling.
Understand this: afterwards I had NO swelling under my eyes. You know how your eyes swell in the morning? NO, ZIP, ZERO. Plus, I was SO relaxed in an energetic way (if that makes sense) and I felt detoxified.
It’s so natural, the whole thing around enchanted me because it looked like a little balloon had fallen out from under my eyes. I went online and saw an article about Kate Middleton’s eyelids stating that lymphatic drainage would really help under her eyes. Strange isn’t it? If a princess needs a lymphatic drainage massage, then I need a weird lymphatic drainage massage more. LOL.
It also flushes out toxins under the arms, legs, pelvic area and neck. AHHH, I LOVE DETOXIFICATION.
By the way, I have heard that this massage is ideal for people who have just had surgery. It is believed to improve the immune system. You can read more here. This is not a substitute for cancer treatment. So if you have breast cancer, consult your doctor before doing so.
If you do not have access to a massage therapist or lymphatic drainage massage, follow this YouTube tutorial about how to do it at home and DRY BRUSH (if you pull one thing out of Skinny Confidential, dry brush!).
Did I mention I love it Asia? This is such a special place.
Sending love from Phuket!! xx
FYI: if you know anything about lymphatic massage, please give me more information. Obviously I am not super experienced with this type of massage and I am REALLY interested in learning more. x